The Quantum MCSE:

Raising the Bar a Little Too High?

BY DEBRA LITTLEJOHN SHINDER, MCSE etc

Reprinted from www.swynk.com

There has been a lot of talk about Microsoft's attempts to "raise the bar" on its premium certification, the MCSE.  The effort comes in response to what some say is a faltering credibility for certified systems engineers in the networking industry, due to an influx of new "paper" MCSEs who did little more than memorize the answers to some practice exams, read a "cram-style" book, and pass the tests without having a clue about what to do when they got hired to implement or support a computer network in the real world.

The steps taken by Microsoft to rectify the situation are laudable: expiring the NT 4.0 certs at the end of 2001, making the W2K exams orders of magnitude more difficult, and aggressively shutting down the "brain dump" sites on the web where test-takers posted everything they could recall about their exams in violation of the NDA.

We think it's time MS got even tougher. We propose a new, high level certification that will push the upper limits, going beyond the laws of traditional physics. We think it's time to create a program that demands more.  Never let it be said again, of the MCP topics: "this isn't rocket science." Now it will be – if only Microsoft will follow our advice and unveil a new and prestigious title: the Quantum MCSE.

Some of the learning objectives you can expect to see on the new QMCSE exams:

• Explain Schrodinger’s Cat 5 Paradox (If you place a networked computer in a box and cut the Ethernet cable, the computer will be both on the network and off the network until you open the box).
• Define Heisenberg’s Exam Prep Uncertainty Principle (It is physically impossible to predict both the exact number of questions on the test and the exact nature of those questions at the same time).
• Recite Planck’s Windows Constant: (h = 6.626 x 10^-34  J ∆ s or the probability of a system crash is directly proportional to the importance of the work you are trying to get done and inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to meet your deadline.
• State Dirac’s Law for MCSEs: "Sensible network administration involves neglecting an error message when it turns out to be small - not neglecting it just because it is infinitely great and you do not want it!"
• Write a short essay explaining Everett’s theory of branching networking universes: whenever a packet is routed, the universe divides as many times as there are possible routes for the packet to take.

Although the new exams will be difficult, because of the nature of quantum physics, the good news is that even if you fail a test, it is likely that somewhere there is another, parallel universe in which you passed. So congratulations and welcome to the elite ranks of the Quantum MCSE.